Oh dear, Andrew---
by FernFfoulkes
Summary: What happens when Percy drops into a trap- and Andrew interrupts a Ring meeting? Looking forward to your responses! The newest prompt from zoundsfern . wordpress . com. Responders so far: Fern Ffoulkes, Suzanne de Tournai
1. The Prompt

_**The newest prompt! To reply, join the Ring at zoundsfern . wordpress . com.**_

Fern flounces in, her cheeks red with the excitement of racing her brother from Dover. Obviously she succeeded, because _he_ isn't here. He still thinks she spends her time at home, and the Ring covers. We came early and organized a tea party, a social function which usually takes _at least_ a week to prepare. Andrew thinks Fern has been doing nothing but plan tea parties, while she was chasing him all over France. We'll all sit around and listen to her adventures later. Right now, before he gets back, we have business to take care of.

"Good news and bad news!" she chortles. "Which first?"

"Bad." Lorette laughs, rolling her eyes. "Can't be terrible, the way you look."

"Per- the Scarlet Pimpernel is going to do something stupid."

"Oh dear!" breathed Suzanne. "Good news, quick!"

"The Scarlet Pimpernel is doing something stupid."

"Huh?" Elizabeth looked a little stumped.

"We get to act, ninnies! First trip!"

"Oh! Now? And what are we doing?- I mean what did he do?- I mean-"

"Calm down and I'll tell all." She pours herself a cup of tea and proceeds to sit down. The sound of horse hooves can be heard outside the open windows.

"Umm… Elsie? Don't you think you should change? I think that's Andrew…" put in Suzanne meekly.

Fern looked down at her breeches in shock, then shoots to her feet, dropping her teacup on the floor. "Drat!" She shot up the stairs.

"Hallo!" Booms Andrew's voice. "Elsie, you home?" He walks into the room, and seeing us, apologizes. "Have you seen her?"

"Oh, she just spilled some tea on her dress and had to change." Elizabeth puts in. Everyone else just looks sheepish.

"Alright, then, wouldn't dare to interrupt the latest scandal's whispering." He looks back at Suzanne, a little disappointed to leave. "Mind if I add to it?" he says, changing his mind.

 _See? You have two options! Either tell how we kept Andrew out of the secret (or let him in) or what Percy's getting himself into that we have to keep him out of! One funny, one an adventure- looking forward to your responses!_


	2. Fern's Response

Slipping behind the screen to change, I blissfully bathed in my narrow escape. As I heard a rustling in my room, I quickly completed my toilette. I was now a master in the art of rapidly switching genders! I peered around the screen to find Tony placing some flowers and a congratulatory card on my pillow. Upon spotting me, he blushed.

"I do have the worst way of showing up." he stuttered. "Need anything? Or did you succeed?"

"Succeed, my foot! Were you expecting failure?" I retorted.

"No." On my disbelieving glare he was forced to validate himself. "Honest! Look at the card!"

I laughed and came out from around the screen. "This time you caught me dressed, but next time be more careful when using my window!"

"Alright. I came to tell you that Andrew should be here by now-"

"He is. I'd better get down. Actually, I might need you. Why don't you come around? The right way, not through my window."

"Nothing would afford me more pleasure, fair lady." He bowed mockingly. "It's not like I have anything better to do with my time."

"You don't and you know it!" He probably had more fun duping Andrew than I did. If only he could stop laughing at inopportune times. That once when Percy said that Devinne should disguise as a girl, as I was too tall… "Just swing out of here and act like you have an important message to tell Andrew. Oh dear… I forgot Suzanne was down there. Andrew's never going to leave!" I almost wailed. "You've got to do something. We have a meeting!"

"Of what sort?" he laughed.

"I'm not the only intelligent girl in Europe! There's others that want to help, and I'm leading a band into France next week."

"Don't be a jolly idiot, Rhedyn! You've got more sense than that!"

"Not much!" I scoffed. "Just wait and see!"

"I'm coming, then. The Scarlet Pimpernel is the only man who's ever succeeded in this sort of thing, you're just a girl, you've only been on two trips, and do you remember what happened in Nantes?"

"I'd rather not." I sighed. I'd gotten captured and very nearly executed. Just then the door flew open, banging into the wall. Both Tony and I jumped, turning to face a breathless Elizabeth. She and I were the only two girls in the Ring, at sixteen. Lorette was twenty, and Suzanne nineteen. But it was us two _girls_ who hauled the Ring around.

"Andrew won't leave, Fern! I- can't- do- a– thing!" she panted. Seeing Tony, she looked surprised and then blushed. I rolled my eyes. Elizabeth's crush on Tony was beyond me. It was also absurdly obnoxious. For one, I was also sixteen, and could care less about boys in a romantic way. In fact, I had quite a reputation in ballroom circles for the one time I knocked out a sailor after he proposed. That story would have never been out except for Tony. He'd told me after that that the newest dare was to "Ask Lady Ffoulkes for a kiss." At least fifteen young idiots had. I spent my spare minutes planning revenge. The second reason was that it would be beyond obnoxious to have my best friend fall in love with my second best friend. They would never _ever_ pay attention to me again!

"Urggh!" Tony exclaimed, distracting me from my thoughts. "Not another one of _these!_ You realize that if every time you girls are together I have to distract Andrew, he'll get a little suspicious!"

"Yes, but we can't help it. Please….." I begged.

"Whatever. I'm going. Andrew must think I'm crazy at this point, with my phobia about my horse's ankle being injured." He muttered.

"Thanks. Just go out through the window and then come arou-"

"I know, silly goose! G'bye, Elizabeths all!" and he swung out into the tree.

"Fern?" inquired Elizabeth. "What on earth was he doing in here?"

"Helping."

"What?"

"To distract Andrew."

"Does he _like_ you?"

"Elizabeth! You're obsessed! I just had the unintelligence to point out that you can climb up that tree into my room…" Elizabeth's eye flitted over the flowers on the bed.

"Fern…" she said warningly.

"We've got better things to do than sit around and wonder who's sending a calling card next. You know what happens when boys do…"

"They're treated to the _System."_

"Indeed. Tony's no different."

"Whatever." she said. I rolled my eyes and skipped out the door. Elizabeth had no choice but to follow.

Tony had succeeded in taking care of Andrew for a second. I expounded on my plan as fast as I could while watching Andrew inspect Tony's horse out the window. "Chauvelin's set a trap…. The Duchess and three children… We'll just move them to a different location before Chauvelin thinks the Pimtpernel will get there…. Day after tomorrow. Tell your family you're going on a relaxing trip to Bath with me, as I've caught a cold. We'll meet at Dover. "

I left Tony completely out of everything. He could come look for us if he really thought his coming necessary. I, however, would make it difficult! By the time us girls, I and Elizabeth as male smugglers, Suzanne as my wife and Lorette as our mother, had made it across the channel, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it. We managed to make it to Paris with three days to spare before Percy arrived.

I ran into Chauvelin once. As I was in disguise, it was actually a good thing. I followed him to the prison and heard the final plans for the trap. The Duchess and her two children, it was made well known, would be transferred to a less secure prison in three days. Chauvelin, (and I, after hearing Percy's plan), was confident Percy would attack the carriage. Even if he didn't, Chauvelin was sure Percy would wait until the Duchess reached the other prison to make his move. That was where we came in.

We would rescue the Duchess- not completely, as we did not have the same web of relay stations and spies Percy did. We would simply move her to a secure house, then notify the Scarlet Pimpernel of their changed location. The League could pick them up from there. Tomorrow we would act.

Peering through the peephole, I hesitated before opening the door. What had I expected? I hadn't the slightest clue. Perhaps a rasping snore, the sight of a sleeping figure sprawled on the filthy wood floor- that is, at least, if we succeeded. But I saw nothing. I could feel Elizabeth's breath on the back of my neck- in, out, in, out, harping on my adrenalin-frayed nerves. Did she think he could see through, too? The hole was microscopic- we drilled it for this purpose two days ago. A sharp jab in the ribs from my entirely too willing elbow forced her to back up. I pushed the door of doubt aside, oh so gently- and it yielded. I sighed almost imperceptibly when she saw the guard crumpled in his chair, his shaggy head bent down on his heaving chest. He was asleep, no doubt about it, eliminating the hardest part of our work. It worked! I entered, Elizabeth in tow, and glided to the opposite door to try the handle. It gave an inconclusive grunt, and then began to turn, releasing the dust on the rim. The powder showered down like little tears for those who had exited it before, dusting the us with a fine and easily penetrable film of obscurity. As we pressed its ancient form aside, I motioned for the inhabitants to be silent. The small family was relatively safe, but the guard still had to be dealt with. Elizabeth grinned gleefully at me, like a schoolboy going to the circus, as she tiptoed back with the pinions and gags. I was quite sure she had weighted the coin that we flipped to see who got to tie the guard up. A sleepy yelp, a scuffle, a chuckle from Elizabeth, and another poor member of the national _Gendarme_ was rendered immobile for the rest of the evening- or at least until the changing of the guard. We were safe for now. I pushed the broken window open and hissed to Suzanne and Lorette who, as washerwomen, were waiting in the courtyard below.

"Tout est clair? (All clear?)"

"Oui, Citoyen." Lorette raised the huge basket. I had the two boys climb into it.

"You two carry it out and then come back."

"But you'll still be up there!"

"Do you really think Suzanne can carry that basket by herself?" Lorette looked at the bulging laundry basket, filthy underwear and uniforms oozing out of the seams.

"No. But be careful. We'll be right back."

"That's the catch. You'll only be able to take one laundry basket out without becoming suspicious. We'll have to make it out on our own."

"But—"

"We don't have another choice. Relax, Lorette, the Scarlet Pimpernel never fails. If we get caught, he can rescue his sister."

"What about you?"

"You know I can talk Chauvelin into anything. I'm still an accredited agent, remember? That's what I'm relying on to get us out. Now hurry." She and Suzanne lifted up the basket and carried it out, humming the "Ca Ira!" I quickly fastened on my tricolor sash. Meanwhile, Elizabeth had turned the Duchess and her daughter's clothing into their own disguises. With a few simple cuts and ties, the dresses were completely changed. The dust of the prison had come in handy with their make-up.

"Ready?"

"Ready." She grinned. "This is splendid fun!"

"Indeed it is! Let's go."

We made it out with the least difficulty. With us two Elizabeths as armed guards, we had no trouble convincing the gatekeeper that I, as an agent of Chauvelin, had every right to change the plans for the trap. We knew the guards would recognize the much-talked-of Duchess through the disguise. We were depending on it to add weight to our story ("We don't want the Pimpernel to know who she is.") and too keep us safe outside the prison walls. After meeting up with Suzanne and Lorette at the house, I left Elizabeth in charge of the family's welfare while I left a message at the League's hideout. It was quite simple and short.

 _"_ _Dear noble sir: We, having discovered a plot to capture you while you attempted to rescue the Duchesse de Ste. Omer, have removed aforesaid duchess from the prison she was forced to call her home, and relocated her to a hovel you will recognize at 22 Rue de Poisson. If you believe that this card may be luring you into a trap, show the symbol of signature to a member of your League by the name of Lord Antony Dewhurst. He will vouch for the truthfulness of this statement._

 _Sincerely,_

 _"_

It was signed with a small, star-shaped red flower, back of which were two, supporting, fern fronds.

I couldn't wait to see Tony's face.


	3. Suzanne's Response

Oh dear. I knew it was all my fault- and the worst part was, I was happy about it. I was happy that I was the reason Andrew didn't want to leave. I felt like I could fly- but Elizabeth was glaring at me. That was the problem. It was all my fault.

"Andrew, I do-don't think our conversation was really that-that interesting." Lorette put in timidly.

"Then perhaps I can liven it." Andrew smiled. He was smiling at me, and the best I could do was look down at the skirt I was twisting in my hands.

"Suzanne," Elizabeth stated matter-of-factly, "looks sick. You should take her for a walk, Andrew."

I glanced up, surprised. She looked so smug. I didn't want to leave! Well, maybe I did…

"Is that agreeable with you, Suzanne?" Andrew asked, so kindly I wanted to tell him everything. Why I wanted to go, why I didn't…

"Yes, I suppose." I whispered, still staring down at my skirt. He stood and I followed suit, placing my hand in his arm. I shot back one desperate glance at Lorette before walking out to the garden.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I responded.

"Did you have a lovely time while we were _literally_ counting beans for the trip?"

"Of course. But I'm also sure _you_ know what the Scarlet Pimpernel did, _and_ where we're going."

Lorette looked up from her checklist, grinning. "I was kidding, my dear. Don't listen to a word I say. I _do_ hope you had a lovely time. But you did miss out on quite a bit. We're rescuing a noblewoman and her seamstress. The Pimpernel is going to rescue them, but Fern, being so close to Chauveglob, knows he has a trap planned."

"Chauveglob?"

"Chau-veil-lynn or whatever his name is." Put in Elizabeth from where she was packing disguises across the room.

"Sha-ve-la is closer. Lorette, you're French! You should know!"

"Yes, m'dear, but I do love insulting the man."

"You still haven't told her what we're doing." put in Elizabeth.

"We're simply moving the ladies from La Rochelle to La Flotte. The Pimpernel can pick them up there."

"Simplicity itself, my dear!" piped in Fern, flouncing down the stairs. "You and I are going into the prison, where they are stupid enough to have a stair going up to the wall in the courtyard. We'll find a way to get them out of their cell, up those steps, and over the wall to where Elizabeth and Lorette will be waiting. I'll let you over, too, and I'll try distracting the guards long enough to give you a safe getaway."

"I'm terrified of heights!"

"Not more than being chased by guards, dear. If you're desperate, I could take Lorette instead."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful!"

Fern looked shocked, Elizabeth dumbfounded. Lorette was simply chuckling over the provisions. Evidently they had not expected me to say yes. But I was just a mouse!

"Well…" Fern mouthed the words carefully. "I suppose… But you'll have to listen to Elizabeth…"

Elizabeth's smirk was enough for me. "I- I was just joking. I'll go."

Fern sighed in relief. "Alright, then. You ladies had better head home. I'll take care of what's left and meet you in Dover!"

"Wh-who is that man?" I tried not to shiver.

"He let us in, goose. Now he's following us to make sure we follow up on our intentions." Fern replied.

"Are we?"

"Of course. Where have you been for the last ten minutes?"

"Trying not to faint."

"Suzanne! I told you it was going to be easy. I wasn't joking, however fond you may be of doing so." She muttered, evidently in reference to my backing out of backing out. We just have to get to the cell... here it is."

I _was_ shivering now. Fern took the key from the man and swung open the door. This place reminded me of too many terrible memories. The two ladies were in the back corner. The orphan Comtesse couldn't be more than 22, and the seamstress was scarcely 17, if that. I smiled reassuringly. I didn't look very reassuring, however, in my National _Gendarme_ uniform. Fern pulled out her long and official looking scroll she had spent nights on.

"The Ci-devant Comtesse Pauline de Croÿ and seamstress." She read off. If my manly voice was half as good as hers, I'd be allowed to talk. The two women, resigned and saddened, stepped forward.

"You will take hold of the girl, Citoyen Tessier." Fern told me. "And you, Rossau, the woman."

Rossau obeyed, but Fern had to stomp on my toes a few times before I grabbed the girl roughly enough.

"You are being transferred to the prison at La Flotte." Fern announced. We walked the two women out of the hall and into the courtyard. I could see Fern looking wistfully back at the stairway she originally planned to use. Fortunately for everyone involved, we'd changed plans.

Lorette and Elizabeth were waiting with the cart. It wasn't the usual open, rickety type, more like a racing carriage with the top cut off and loosely disguised as a tumbril. And as a racing cart it would be used! The second the ladies were up, Elizabeth brought the whip down over La Rochelle's fastest horses. Rossau stared blankly at our disappearing wheels for a minute before wheeling back and sprinting to the prison. That was part of the fun- our carriage had been waiting a good distance from the prison, and Fern had smartly chosen the least athletic guard to be our escort. His wheezing form was less than a quarter of the way back by the time we lost sight of him. When he did get back, his compatriots would find the entire garrison's horses hamstrung. By that time, we'd be long gone. Fern and Elizabeth were whooping hysterically up in the driving seat, while Lorette was comforting the lady. I sunk down beside the seamstress.

That hadn't been too bad…


End file.
